Thinking about Death, Life...

(Archive Journal Entry: Russia 09/09/06)

There are these times when I find myself thinking about death.  Like a little child, we don't want to believe it happens, but it really does.  It might be today, tomorrow, next week, in 10 years... I will have to face death.  But, by thinking about the reality of death... makes my thinking about the reality of my relationship with Jesus Christ.

It makes me question if I have truly trusted and believed that Christ can save me from eternal death- and the heart rejoices because I know that what I have living in me is real... Now that makes me ponder on how I actually live the reality of my life.  Do I just go up to people and smile and say very shyly that I love Jesus?  Do I get stuck in a pattern where my spirit goes numb- wake up every Sunday, sing the songs, open the bible- not really reading it, and sitting during the service while the preacher proclaims the truth and the instructions to be transformed- yet not respond at all.

What should the reality be?  I know this for sure... for me to keep my eyes on Jesus, not looking to the left or the right- or Satan will surely pull me down.  I should wake up each day and seek to fall more in love with the Saviour- to draw closer to Him.  With this understanding how can I live a dull life?  It shakes the soul.  Now, since Christ is in me, He puts a love in me that I never had before- a love that would do anything for another person.  so I walk around seeing so many faces... so many... and I wonder how many of them have thought about death, and how many have found the victory over death in Jesus... I wonder how many of them feel like they are doomed- that there is no hope at all.    I wonder if they have tried to convince themselves that they won't face death- and try not to think about.  It will always be something scary to think about, but to know the rest of the story, the victory after the physical death, ... it brings an overwhelming joy and peace to the soul. 

So, in conclusion, I see that the reality for me is to live in the truth- to be a light to this dark, cold world.  To be as real as I can be about the love I found when I was 13, changing my destiny right there, for eternity.

Death is real- Jesus is real.